Competition served me well in my swimming career at UGA, but I noticed it sure does take a lot of the fun out of many activities that I enjoy.
I red-shirted my freshman year due to an early-season shoulder injury; I enjoyed *cough* the same training madness as the rest of the team, but I raced in USA Swimming-sanctioned meets instead of NCAA dual meets/conference/nationals that year. At my shave meet in the spring of 2001, American Short Course Championships at the University of Texas in Austin, I destroyed every last one of my previous PRs, the highlight being my 20-second improvement in the 1650 free. 20 SECONDS! That's about ⅓ of a second faster PER LAP (66 x 25-yards); I ended up winning my race by a large margin, nearly lapping the 2nd place swimmer, ending with a time of 16:34.10. According to my coaches at Georgia, that time would have qualified for a spot on UGA's team competing at NCAA Nationals* a few weeks later.
I also won the 200 butterfly with a time of 2:01.19, placed 3rd in the 500 with a time of 4:51.20, and dropped ridiculous seconds off of both previous PRs, and in every other race I entered.
To this day, I believe that I swam so well at this meet in particular was due to the lack of competitive pressure. I was with with my club team from high school, Swim Atlanta, and my club coach Tim O'Brien, who I knew already believed in my swimming abilities. I had nothing to lose, nothing to prove; I just had to dive into the pool for every race with the knowledge that I COULD NOT FAIL. I was given permission to just have fun, and see how fast I could go, testing out my helluva long training season in the distance lane (and only on the kick board for a month or more) at my first year at Georgia.
I can think of other specific ways that competition hinders my enjoyment--in sports, in relationship, in career, in academics-- and thus, performance, but this particular situation is the one that stands out.
I'M NOT INTERESTED IN COMPETING WITH ANYONE; I HOPE WE ALL MAKE IT!!
*These numbers and swimming jargon won't mean all that much to most of you. In the world of NCAA Division 1 swimming, the NCAA Nationals meet is, arguably, a bigger deal than qualifying for Olympic Trials. Athletes represent their schools instead of just themselves, and in the case of UGA's highest ranked women's swim team, we were defending our National Titles from 1999 & 2000
Are you someone whose default compliment/comment for or about another person is related to how they look? It could be about anything: what they're wearing, hairstyle, make-up/lack thereof, body features, size, etc.
If that is you, what would happen if you tried shifting the focus, just for a day or an hour, onto something else? It could be anything, just something NOT related to their appearance.
I notice myself looking at the surface a lot, and feeling really curious about what else I can see on a deeper level, and also really wanting to BE SEEN for more than the outside layers. I also notice myself relaxing more and feeling safer around people who tend to NOT comment on how I look all the time.
This feels like a big topic, and the more I write and pay attention, the more that comes up for me.
What about you? What is your experience with this stuff?
You wish you could take back that thing you said... Or to undo that thing you did... Unthink that thought you had... Worried someone may have misinterpreted Or you think that you have misjudged.
Or someone ELSE might be judging you...
I want to tell you something.
Something about experimenting:
There's this really great quality about trying. That is, you get to KEEP TRYING. Even if it doesn't go the way you thought it might, or if a person reacts to that ONE try in a way that doesn't feel good to you, YOU GET TO TRY AGAIN. And again. And again and again and again, PROBABLY forever, if you want. And those tries will work the way you'd like some of the times, but other of the times, they will totally not work. But actually, IT STILL WORKED because after that try, you have the choice to ask questions, re-assess, even ASK FOR HELP, and try YET AGAIN! Go ahead! Today is probably not the last day! Or it might be the last day, but for goddess sake, just try. There is really. Really. REALLY. NOTHING to lose. JUST. TRY.
"Do or do not, there is no try."
Thanks Yoda, but you've kinda got it wrong. Do and Try are one in the same. Do not and Try not, also the same.
You might have experiences that feel a lot like failure, trying to do the same thing in the same way. But if ya don't change it up a little, how can the results be different?
For example:
Here I am, trying on this writing and exploring my own ideas thing. I'm probably not winning any nobel prize or becoming the next Poet Laureate, but I've got words and thoughts and I'm TRYIN TO USE 'EM! (By the way, this is my second draft, because I decided to try again with some editing after the first draft. And you'd never guess, but I like this one even better!)